067.

I have so many things on my mind that have been building up, they're all most likely meaningless when it comes down to it.

"Human relationships didn't work anyhow. Only the first two weeks had any zing, then the participants lost their interest. Masks dropped away and real people began to appear: cranks, imbeciles, the demented, the vengeful, sadists, killers. Modern society had created its own kind and they feasted on each other. It was a duel to the death...in a cesspool."
— Charles Bukowski , 1978

I read this and it actually made me really sad because I think it's true. Maybe I'm bitter because I've yet to have a semi-successful relationship. Rodney is the only ex I speak to and even that took a year and a half. It really is true that people's true colors come out after the excitement is over.

I wish I could spend time with my friends and have a decent time without all the bullshit. For example, I was having an awesome night Tuesday night but then it was ruined by the immaturity of people and the fact that I don't know who actually sticks up for me these days. I haven't been with Allyson nearly as much as I used to be, yet she had my back and attempted to solve the issue. By the way, I'm not the kind of girl to get on him while you're dating him. I do have respect for myself and for other people. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't run your mouth about it, I've been nothing but civil to you.