It's funny how in such a large city, interacting with so many people a day, one can feel so lonely. The loneliness is turning more into a need for a companionship with someone. Not in a physical sense where I feel like I need someone to hold me constantly, but a need for a mutual feeling. Lately every romantic attempt that has come my way has made me just push it away. I'm not sure if I'm comparing them to the people of my past or if I'm waiting for the perfect one of if a relationship is really just not what I want. I miss the excitement I used to have. The same two people come to mind when I think about what I want and both are extremely unattainable. I love both of their families. Spending time just doing nothing or doing something exciting. Staying up all hours of the night talking about things that matter or things that don't matter at all. Waking up the next morning smiling because you have more than just your friends and family to care about and discover. Your clothes smelling like their sheets- almost a way to tide you over until the next time.
I've been focusing so much on myself lately, yet other than my occupational goals, I don't have my head clear. I suppose my dreams are all I really know and death really is the only promise in life.
Jump in to that water. Is it cold or is it hot, or is it nothing quite worth mentioning at all? Hearts they will awaken, to remember fears of breaking but all animals must answer to their call. It's like how when I try to write a song, sometimes the words just come out wrong. But if I never picked the pen up, held inside and never shared. And oh was that so eloquent, it wasn't really what I meant, at least you got the notion that I care. And a song well sung is a sung well song so sing. If nothing else you must remember that you're still breathing. So we ignore those body parts that get so wet and get so hard, and focus on our beating hearts, your arm to hold me here to guard me. I can sleep alone tonight, I feel weird but that's alright. I'm learning not to think too much, I turn the lights out and sleep tight. And if I make a big mistake, if anything well then it won't take forever just to find myself again. In a subjective sense we've sense we've seen a lot, yeah we make the best of what we've got. All we are is everything and everyone we've ever been so. Tell me not to fall in love with you. And frankly my friend I think that's the sweetest thing you do. Summer in my town is nice, my front porch is my paradise. And I can sit here every night, yes I can watch the world go by and know that I'm in motion to occasionally think of you and just hope that you realize that when you sit here by my side, whatever that implies will be just fine. My heart beats like a tambourine that plays along in time.
No comments:
Post a Comment