Elliott Smith: Roman Candle.
Viewing my life from the outside in, one could easily think that I have it made and that I am a spoiled girl who complains too much. But in reality, I want to explode every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I'm trying to balance school, working, and taking care of animal who has gotten me through more hard times than any human being has. I have $250 for Columbia which not even close to making the $36,000 every year for four years. I do not want to rely on scholarships, grants, and loans that will ultimately cause more stress in the end. The store I work at may be closing and I will jobless. It seems that no one is hiring these days with how bad the economy is and it worries me. I refuse to get rid of my horse like he is a used tissue even if he has caused more financial issues than anything else in my life. I am grateful that I have a best friend who is willing to set aside her goals and dreams so that I can accomplish mine. I only wish that I could be grateful for an understanding family. My grandfather who has always been there for me, sent me fifty dollars today. I feel bad that I stopped attending family events solely because he has always been so great to me. When my dad was dying, he promised him that he would take care of me. I feel that I will be the reason for his next heart attack because of how awful I am viewed by everyone, when really I'm just trying to get to where I want to be and am hitting some bumps along the road. I'm at a loss for what to do. My relationship with my mother is a rollercoaster ride that I don't care to add to my large enough plate. I would love to get out of this hell hole that I am supposed to call "home." I don't sleep well anymore and I am constantly having headaches and stomach aches. My mother says its because I don't know how to handle things and suggests me going back to therapy, a place that has also put us into debt for its unhelpful services. I don't need to pay someone to listen to my problems and give no advice on how to handle them. I'm lost right now and I'm willing to admit that.
I hear you cry. Your tears are cheap, wet hot red swollen cheeks. Fall asleep. I want to hurt him. I want to give him pain. I'm a roman candle, my head is full of flames.
I've always loved this picture and somehow I just now realized that the woman has a Banksy tattoo, which I want to by my next tattoo.
Viewing my life from the outside in, one could easily think that I have it made and that I am a spoiled girl who complains too much. But in reality, I want to explode every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I'm trying to balance school, working, and taking care of animal who has gotten me through more hard times than any human being has. I have $250 for Columbia which not even close to making the $36,000 every year for four years. I do not want to rely on scholarships, grants, and loans that will ultimately cause more stress in the end. The store I work at may be closing and I will jobless. It seems that no one is hiring these days with how bad the economy is and it worries me. I refuse to get rid of my horse like he is a used tissue even if he has caused more financial issues than anything else in my life. I am grateful that I have a best friend who is willing to set aside her goals and dreams so that I can accomplish mine. I only wish that I could be grateful for an understanding family. My grandfather who has always been there for me, sent me fifty dollars today. I feel bad that I stopped attending family events solely because he has always been so great to me. When my dad was dying, he promised him that he would take care of me. I feel that I will be the reason for his next heart attack because of how awful I am viewed by everyone, when really I'm just trying to get to where I want to be and am hitting some bumps along the road. I'm at a loss for what to do. My relationship with my mother is a rollercoaster ride that I don't care to add to my large enough plate. I would love to get out of this hell hole that I am supposed to call "home." I don't sleep well anymore and I am constantly having headaches and stomach aches. My mother says its because I don't know how to handle things and suggests me going back to therapy, a place that has also put us into debt for its unhelpful services. I don't need to pay someone to listen to my problems and give no advice on how to handle them. I'm lost right now and I'm willing to admit that.
I hear you cry. Your tears are cheap, wet hot red swollen cheeks. Fall asleep. I want to hurt him. I want to give him pain. I'm a roman candle, my head is full of flames.
I've always loved this picture and somehow I just now realized that the woman has a Banksy tattoo, which I want to by my next tattoo.
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