011.

It has become clear to me that my family has the same mentality as a gaggle of high school girls. Everyone else's issues are made into their own and feel the need to put forth their two cents. The family seems to think that I am the way I am because my mother didn't raise me the right way. One of the things I appreciate about my mother is that she put my sister and I in public high schools and never once told us that the art world may bring us great disappointment and an empty wallet. My sister realized late in college that dancing professionally may not be the life for her if she wants to have a family, although it was undeniable that her ability to dance would take her places. After graduating with a minor in dance and major in family studies, getting married, and having two golden retrievers, she realized that dance was her passion. She had her first recital in years over the summer and was asked to be a dance teacher which is not far from her original goal of being a dance therapist. Like me, she struggled through high school but for different reasons. Somehow my family felt that they could support her dreams but when an aspiring photographer/fashion designer/stylist comes along, there is no bone in their bodies between them that can support such dream. I talk about when I come to visit Cincinnati on breaks at school and my mother always tells me that I'm not coming back and that I'm going to make a life for myself in Chicago and never want to see anybody in Cincinnati again. This may be true.

Kelsey Kalnow bought a horse yesterday that I will be taking care of while she's gone for a month. So now I will have the responsibility of two horses, one that I'm trying to nurse back to barrel racing, the other trying to keep the arthritis under control. I look forward to it. I have one more think to soak my mind in and not worry about the millions of things that my brain constantly worries about.

I don't know how often I can see you anymore. I want to be there for you as you're having a hard time, but I feel that old thoughts and emotions are rekindling inside of me, which scares the living hell out of me, considering she will always have your heart.