240.

I never imagined that I would make it this far without my dad. My mom and I were not very close before my dad passed away and now she is the one pushing me to do my best. I think after how terrible this week has been, I really needed her coming up here. It was a reassurance that I have people in my life that do love me and will not constantly upset me. I think that after my dad died, I hold onto people harder and longer than I should. It took this long for me to even try to let you go. Now I think it's really done and over with. This week has created all sorts of emotions- jealousy being the worst. Jealousy is not usually something I feel and when I do feel it, I'm disgusted in myself. It makes me hate any situation I'm in.

A nice boy from my writing class approached me and complimented me. We have been talking and planning to hang out. Everytime I feel lonely and feel like I need someone, someone eventually shows up and I usually end up declining. I'm trying to open up my mind to new people, but I guess it's just not easy for me when my mind is always on someone else.

Larry Hoffman ; Seattle, WA.