I am beginning to believe that there is nothing left in this city for me. There is no one new to embrance their ideals and morals. There is no one new to put my faith in and love. I need something new for the sake of my sanity. I have five months left here and as much as I'd like to make the best of it, I don't know how to anymore. I'm quickly losing my direction.
I feel better now that I have said everything I need to say. I've heard all the answers to all the questions that I've wanted to know for some time now. And I've put my heart on the line for the very last time.
I wanna be the surgeon that cuts you open, that fixes all of life's mistakes. I wanna be the house that you were raised in, the only place that you feel safe. I wanna be a shower in the morning that wakes you up and makes you clean. I know I'm just the weather against your window as you sleep through a winter's dream. Someones churning the earth. Someone's stirring the sky. Every color at once in a column of lights. Bacteria breeds on a microscope slide. The worm in my heart's the apple of your eye. Don't adore what is impossible. We have built this ship in a wine bottle but if you knew how it worked, we'd have to grow old. Someone's eating at you, wakes you up in the night. If you're digging the past, who knows what you'll find. Read the newspaper print off the microfiche slide and you're holding your breath for the rest of your life. Don't you love what is intangible? I have built this ship in a wine bottle. but if you knew who I was, you would never grow old.
Photograph by Nan Goldin.
No comments:
Post a Comment