105.

Trust: assurance or reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

I always thought it inconceivable that people could have no trust in anyone. Now it seems like the best option. One of the reasons I never found therapy useful is because I didn't understand why I should pay someone to listen to my problems when I had friends. I don't think I will be sharing very much information with my friends anymore. This will drive me crazy but I can't deal with unnecessary interferences anymore, even if it is for "my best interest." Let me live.

My mom told me today that I've been smiling and laughing more often but today I seemed to be back in my funk. Of course I knew I why, but I couldn't tell her. I wish I was best friends with my mom and could tell her things without her worrying or lecturing. I know it is her nature as a mother. Maybe when we're no longer under the same roof, things will change. She also asked me if I had spoken to Luke recently. I told her I hadn't spoken to him in a long time and I can truthfully say I'm okay with that. I'm not repulsed by the sight of him. He's just someone that I used to know. Looks like I've already achieved my new year's resolution in the first week and a half.