223.

I'm finally in Chicago for good. Or at least until the holidays. People are coming up in three weeks Until then, I'm hoping I won't be too lonely. I have two mandatory events to go to for school. I'm extremely socially awkward so I don't know how well this is going to go. It's extremely hard for me to just walk up to people and introduce myself. At orientation I only spoke to one person. It was at the very end in the bathroom. I only said anything to her because she was wearing a Coliseum shirt. When I came back to Cincinnati last week I was considering not seeing anyone but I did. I almost wish I hadn't.

To You:
I wish it wasn't so hard for you to just tell me how you feel. I thought that writing you a letter was more appropriate because you tend to not talk about your feelings. I also thought that you would have something to say about it. Maybe you think I'm going to hate you. Or maybe you just don't have the respect for me to tell me. I think I at least deserve to know what you're thinking or feeling. People keep telling me that you're probably just not interested anymore and you don't feel the need to tell me. I've always been the kind of person to talk about my feelings and I can only move past a situation if I have closure. So right now, I'm going insane. If you come up here in three weeks, I know I will not be able to deny you. For some reason, after only a month, I have become so attached to the feelings that I have for you and about our current/past situation. I wish I had an on and off switch and I could just tell myself "No" and to forget you.